I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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