Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
