By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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