shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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