he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
