we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
