I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
