just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
