I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize