And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
