my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When are your genitals available?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
