just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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