Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
