Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize