I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
