Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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