just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I checked into jail on foursquare
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
