Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
