So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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