I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
