this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Found your dick twin last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
