a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
