I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Panties = found
Randomize
