We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
