sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
