is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
