i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
