They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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