How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize