I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
