I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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