So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You work out of a Hotel?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
