you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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