Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
