she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
