Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So vagazzling was a success
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
