Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
