it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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