pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
