Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
