What a fucking waste of an outfit
I want to make a zoo with you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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