do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
