I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
