Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
