I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize