just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
