Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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