whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We were destined to go to rehab together
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
