Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
