A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have already put on my inside pants.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize