Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
