Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
