i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Mom said you looked used
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
