no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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