I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
