i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My balls are so social today.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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