We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
