i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
