Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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