PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We are all done wearing pants today
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
