Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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