Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
