I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
