idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
