It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Mom said you looked used
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
