I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
