You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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