You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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