I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
