summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
