i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
