I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
