I just made out with a guy for $7.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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