Nicole vs. Life
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
