In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
