at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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