put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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