Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
