Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
