fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
