doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
