the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
