At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
