He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
