Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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